July 2009
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“We’ll always have good memories of the legendary performer [Michael...”
– Steven Colbert, The Colbert Report (via twothirty)
June 2009
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4615.) I will never apologize for how I felt that...
(via blogsecret)
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"It's a clock radio."
I spent some time with Kelsey today for her birthday. We met at Tasti, where I ate some chicken teriyaki for lunch with Jess. Then a few of us went to Marshalls, where I bought a milk pot (looks suspiciously like a sauce pot) and a dvd (The Emperor’s Club). Yes, they sell movies there now. And gummy bananas. Uncomfortable.
Anyway, it was a good day but a frustrating one. I want to get...
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Kiss me and you'll know how important I am.
(via chapter13)
thefunnygirl:
heradventures:
- Sylvia Plath (via gatekeeper)
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I'll stop when I'm finished.
Work was the usual, except that I left a few hours early to make it into the city with time to spare. Before I go into details, let me just end the curiosity with, well, “If I wanted to go live in a hotel, I would.” Living in New York City should be just that, living in a city. I want homeless people and shouting and scraps of paper up and down my walkway. I pay big money to get big...
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Happy birthday!
Happy 24th, Leslie. I hope it’s everything you could hope for and more.
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(via funeralface)
Disco 2000 - Pulp
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Celebrity Genocide
(via thelighthouseisanaccident)
prophetized:
I’m pretty sure we all saw this coming.
RIP Farrah and Michael, two glorious white ladies.
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(via digitalbath)
sashagabrielle:
txtsfrmlstnght:
(917): Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
BAHAHAHHA
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Coming Down Fast - Daniel Ash.
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I know you are, but what am I?
Customer: What are your best cupcakes?
Me: We're sold out of most things - it's been a really busy day. But the best-selling cupcakes that are left are Baba Booey, Hostess...
Customer (interrupting): What do you have left?
Me: ... What do we have left or what's the best of what we have left?
Customer: What's the best.
Me: Baba Booey, Hostess, Carrot...
Customer: What's in the Health Bar cupcake?
Me: Heath Bar? It's a chocolate cake with vanilla frosting and toffee mixed in and on top.
Customer: What's in Flutternutter?
Me: Fluffernutter? It's peanut butter and marshmallow.
Customer: Do you know where there's a gas station around here that isn't self-serve? We're from Great Neck.
Me: ... Yes, I can imagine. No, sorry, I don't know this area well. I'm from the town over.
Customer (to her friend): Let's put the cupcakes in the trunk. Those valet guys are disgusting. They'd probably eat them.
Me: ...
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My cupcake muscles.
My left bicep has been twitching since last night. What the hell? I went to bed, figuring maybe I could sleep it off (…) and surprise, it didn’t work. I blame Redbull. Really, I do.
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Sangria, cold pizza, and an air mattress.
Lately my nights are cloudy is the nicest of ways. Everyone is moving on and ahead and I can’t put my foot on the brake for any of it. And I don’t want to. And that feeling alone is awesome.
We saw an apartment in a really nice building, on an excellent side street on the upper east side, but it was too small. That’s just fine by me, mostly because I want a dog and that building...
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The "lol j/k"
(via acewepeel)
mykicks:
Has anyone else experienced this? You’re talking to some weirdo on AIM, and they say something creepy and over the line and they follow it up with “lol j/k.” But you KNOW they meant it, and the “j/k” is just a bad cover-up. Like if someone asks you “why don’t u send nudes. lol j/k” you know they would have no problem with you actually sending them nudes.
Where did you...
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“I hate astrology. What, everybody born in the same month is gonna have the same...”
– Daniel, Freaks and Geeks (via mynoisyheart)
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Worked Up So Sexual - The Faint.
New day, same...
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On a personal note, FML. →
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What not to do with five dollars.
Do not rent the movie 18-Year-Old Virgin. Watch it for free online if you seriously feel the need. I spent most of those 90 irreplaceable minutes laughing after we rented it (along with Transamerica, which we saved for this afternoon) last night. Truly crap acting, crap editing, and way too much disturbing (i.e. not hot) naked nearly-sex scenes. And there was a very small penis at one point....
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3335.) You told me on several occasions that you...
(via blogsecret)
Mr. Jones was right by me.
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Courtship Dating - Crystal Castles.
Are you...
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A kick in the head.
My father is getting married today at 2:13 in the afternoon. He left me a voicemail saying so. And it just kills me that there is really only one person in the world I could talk to about what I’m feeling right now. Ming is great, she’s an intensely sweet little woman, and my dad will probably learn to be happy for the rest of his life. At least that’s what I predict. I...
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