December 2011
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Hunger.
He asks me if I’m dating. I say, “I’m not not dating”: a double-negative circling the office my insurance company pays for me to be in once a week. I get fifty minutes worth of words in before it’s time to leave again, time to get back to the world.
A girl once sent me this email, telling me that some of what I’ve written had made her want to live. I remember...
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“I’m a New Yorker! We can do anything!”
– Mom (apparently after dissing a foreigner at the NYC tree lighting)
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“You should always write with an erection. Even if you’re a woman.”
– Tom Robbins
November 2011
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“Please remember to give to a charity this holiday season. Pretend you’re...”
– Joey Comeau
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Say That You Love Me - Loudon Wainwright III.
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“‘You’re better equipped for this world than I am,’ she said....”
– Tom Robbins, Still Life with Woodpecker
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“There are victories of the soul and spirit. Sometimes, even if you lose, you...”
– Elie Wiesel
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21, 30, 32.
I don’t feel bad about it. If anything, I could feel bad about my lack of bad feelings about it. That’s where we are. And it’s funny too, because I didn’t think I’d have any kind of remorse, any residual damage, all because it was the right thing to do.
But the right thing to do is really shitty, almost all the time. Or at least it can feel that way, and then a month...
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“I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the...”
– Kurt Vonnegut
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Today's missed connection. →
“I need to be my own man. I need to travel, adventure and sow my wild oats.”
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“Love is dope, not chicken soup.”
– Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
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“The problem is that the world becomes discontinuous. We can’t attend to the...”
– Mark Vonnegut, Just Like Someone Without a Mental Illness Only More So
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On The Arrow - AFI.
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Sexuality 101.
We’re in the same place where I once threatened to steal pizza dough when I was drunk - livid, wearing a Wonder Woman costume. But this time, my friend has just had her phone stolen, and two transvestites ask me for my name and number as I’m looking over the menu.
I get spooked. You haven’t called, haven’t checked to see if I’m surviving, if I know how to use...
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“New York sent many signs to a young man - it was an empire of signs, to cop a...”
– Mark Edmundson, Alone at the Movies
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No Distance Left to Run- Blur.
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Hi, goodbye! Don't let the door hit you on the way...
Things I’m going to miss from this particular union (which has failed miserably):
ever going to Elbo Room, ever
being generally well-liked
and yes, the pesto pizza!
For once, my mother was right: I really need to stop whoring myself out for food. I just want to thank the 5 bus, that place with the good cookies, and my therapist - without whom none of these sacrifices would have been...
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“A step backward, after making a wrong turn, is a step in the right direction.”
– Kurt Vonnegut
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This is just another thing you can't compost, San...
Everyone else has already gone to bed - the housemates, the brother, the parents - and we lie awake talking about the time she spent in Colombia, back when I still lived in New York full-time. We’re not family, we’re family friends, and that’s why we can be honest about the hideous things we’ve done in the name of love.
As it turns out, she has a similar notion about soul...
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“The more I remember, the more distant I feel. We reached the middle so quickly....”
– Jonathan Safran Foer
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