August 2011
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No, that burrito you had today was not "dank,"...
Me: I'll give you a dollar if you just respond with "dank."
Ashley: Okay, because I just did.
Me: You know I don't have a dollar.
Ashley: That's okay. I think it got him to stop texting me.
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On Your Porch - The Format.
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A comedy of errors, a work of fate: pass the...
At the party, I’m drunk enough to accept the compliment, the fact of standing in a kitchen, perched way up high from my pedestal of twenty-one and change. But it hits me, hard - as if I’m meant to remember this - that numbers mean more to us than we let on, more than we might want them to. Age is elusive; it’s like that first time you back your car into another car, how time and...
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Saints of Los Angeles - Motley Crue.
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Sarah: I was masturbated to at the public library...
Me: I'm sorry, what?
Sarah: He was doing it through his clothes.
Me: Nobody masturbates on Fifth Ave.
Sarah: I know, it's a good avenue! Maybe on Eleventh.
Me: Oh, definitely on Eleventh. Probably Ninth, too.
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Here's what I like best about what's left in those...
They gave me free rum on the plane. We’re descending, I’m drinking, all the while thinking about the call that didn’t come, that was never going to come, that stung without a stinger in sight. I’m thinking of all the people we’ve been, and of those we’ve yet to become, those we’ve replaced and have been replaced by.
Even if everyone else forgets,...
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“Anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor...”
– Hunter S. Thompson, Breakfast of Champions
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Things I will be able to do legally in less than...
go into bars without using my sister’s license
I mean, she’s real cute, but she’s already 26
buy booze at supermarkets & bodegas
wear sweatpants at pubs if I want to
which I won’t, but I sure could
buy wine to bring as gifts
keep on keeping on
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“At eighteen our convictions are hills from which we look; at forty-five they are...”
– F. Scott Fitzgerald
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I wrote this months ago. Only now does it make...
I know that one day it will be too late - too late to make a comeback, to catch the right train, to stand before someone who matters and tell the truth, a story with only one ending worth living out. And what if I’ve already missed my chance? Are there more? Is there one or are there a thousand?
Maybe we don’t have the same beliefs or the same taste in food or horror movies (which is...
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Anyhow… - Tyler Lyle.
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Quality vs. quantity. →
“Like, a normal person who can afford better won’t want to live in here.”
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Please "raply" to this message. →
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Now accepting applications for a "sexless...
Sarah: You'd have to bring your suitcase to bars.
Me: It'd be weird, but I could do it.
Sarah: You should stick to non-alcoholic drinks.
Me: I guess so.
Sarah: So sleeping doesn't turn into... intimate sleeping.
Me: Or what is more commonly referred to as "sex."
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Remember that time I still had my dignity? Me...
I’m really crushed that it comes to age - dictating where I can and can’t live, how I live, even the ever-popular question as to what I live for. So I don’t get the room, and that stings, but there’s the added bonus of asking myself why I didn’t get the room. And I hate to think that it’s the way I look - however distracting in terms of gender and age - that...
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The Odds - The Loved Ones.
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“I love hitting on hipster guys because they’re so surprised all the time.”
– Erin 