These fucking Nutri-Grain bars are always on sale, so I just buy them to later reluctantly eat at work.
- Professor: What smells like old people?
- Me: These. They're like bad fig Newtons. But I buy them anyway.
- Professor: I like fig Newtons! They never smelled old to me.
- Me: Okay, but these smell like they've been in a box, you know?
- Professor: They probably have.